Rewrite the story. Use the prompts to give more detail and make the story more interesting.
One Sunday afternoon last winter (which month ? ) ......I decided to go with a friend of mine (who?) for a bike ride. (Where to?) It was very cold. (Give more details). He wew cycling along a country lane when we saw some children playing on a frozen pond. (How old were they? What sort of things were they doing?)
Suddenly we heard a shout. To our horror one of the boys (Which one?) had fallen thourgh the ice! (Why? What had happened?)
We immediately rushed over to help but it was too dangerous to walk across the ice . (What was the boy doing?) My friend and I ran ro borrow a ladder. (Where from?) I put the ladder on the ice and crawled (How?) across it towards the boy. (What was the boy doing now?) I caught hold of hish and finally managed to pull him out of the icy water. Luckily the boy wasn't hurt , just very frightened.
His parents turned up about ten minutes later. When yhey saw him (Where? How did he look?) . they were shocked and very angry with him! I felt a bit storry for the boy. He had certainly learnt a lesson - the hard way!
multumesc!! :**



In December
In the park
Outside it was snowing,and freezing.
They looked like 12 or 13 years old and they were playing ice hockey
in a blue jacket 
because he was to heavy
he was trying to get out
for a store next to the park
on my knees
he grabed my hand
freezing on a bench

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